twenty eight ten zero nine

“dance till you fall. love till you die.
shut your mouth.”
(carbon leaf)

8:53 am.

awake is the new sleep.

i got up with still that migraine on.  oh dude.  is this a different thing?  something must be wrong with me, i think.

is this it?  if i have to go, i dont wanna suffer no more.  and if i really have to go, i wanna go in a flash.  please make it quick and fast.  too much pain was all there was.  and all there is.

later.

“how i wish everything was simple…”
(olivia broadfield)

11:35 pm.

the kids near the gas station were again playing on their front yard.  they’re my friends now, you know.  whenever they see me we would have the usual high five exchange and they would walk with me up to a certain point.  it’s during this walks that they get their free spanish tutorials from me.  today one of the kids was like hey what’s dipuga?  it means you’re cool.  hahahaha

they have the same welcome and parting words all the time.  you know how it is.  they only have the dora spanish.  so their intro word is hola.  and the parting words would be adios diego.  hahaha  oh yeah.  im diego.  LOL

the letter R always ruled my life.  it still does actually.  R is the very first rejection i had back in day one.  R is for those rejections.  R is rhyme.  R is reasons.  R is rebirth.  R is rediscovery.  R is re-engineering.  R is realignment.  R is refocus.  R is relentless.  R is resilient.  R is repose.  and this letter R is inked on me as well.

the pain is still on.  i still have that migraine pain.  but wth??  i ran.  i dont even care anymore.

my run today was a mix of a walk and run.  i walked about 8% of the total distance.   i dont have a heart monitor but i felt my heart was overworking.  it was about to be overloaded.  so i had to stop if i dont wanna end up lying on a pavement somewhere.

i had a hard time synchronizing everything during the run.  the breathing.  the pacing.  everything.  that’s probably why my heart was almost on overloaded mode.  i was not in my zone.  i was not feeling well.

duck the migraine.  duck the pain.  duck this life.  it always sucks.  i don’t know anymore.  i dont wanna think about it anymore.  duck.  duck this.

im out.

11:53 pm.

“i said hell is so close, and heavens out of reach,
but i ain’t giving up quite yet…”
(augustana)

~ by the fortunate pilgrim on October 28, 2009.