zero one zero nine zero nine

“…like cleopatra, joan of arc, or aphrodite
she’s so high…
high above me”
(tal bachman)

how far can you go for a conviction?  how far can you go for a thing you really want in life?  what can you give up for a loved one?

10:20 pm.

im back to my nightly run after a day of rest.  last night’s rest made me ran faster today.  today’s run pegged at 9 minutes per mile.  oh dude.  im so sick.  thats something.  another milestone for me.

im one of the biggest losers by far.  i lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks span.  wow.  can you believe that?  well.  at the rate things are going and by a simple mathematical computation, ill be weighing at around 2 pounds by end december.  hahaha  i think i used the wrong formula.  hahaha  times like this, i need that Barbie girl.  LOL

“we laugh until we had to cry”
(david foster)

reconciliation.  closure.  these are some of the essentials for the future.  its a great part of moving forward.  coz these things will set you free.  free from the past and the present and all its angst.  and very ready to face the future that you’ve been dreaming of and planning about.

reconciliation.  its making amends for all the things you did wrong.  making amends to all the people that you hurt in one way or the other.  but reconciliation is beyond the remorse.  its beyond the word sorry.  its more of making right all the things you did wrong.  its the learning experience that goes with it.  coz you wanna be as close to being perfect as you prepare to face the future.

i am almost through with this phase.  and believe me, it felt great within.  its some kind of a feeling of weightlessness.  coz probably you shed some unwanted baggages in your life for you to be lighter so that you could fly higher and soar longer.  yes.  its a reconciliation for all the wrong done but in effect, its more of a reconciliation with your very own self.  with your very own conscience.

closure.  some things of the past linger within us.  that is why sometimes our past keeps haunting us.   and these are our unfinished business.  these are the things we thought we left behind.  but in fact, we didnt at all.  its all within us all the time.  and somehow its an extra baggage.  a baggage we dont need.   so we need to put an end to these things to make us lighter.  and that we call closures.

at some point, a closure is some kind of a reconciliation as well.  if we dont really need it, then we have to forget it once and for all.  but in order to forget it, we must go back to it and face it coz we cant just ignore it or hide from it forever.  time has moved on and things will never be the same with that thing of the past.  so probably the best thing to do is go back to it and say your final piece and then forget everything about it and move on.

saying your final piece is like having that inner peace after.  coz as you move forward to face the future, there’ll be no more what if’s.  there’ll be no more unanswered questions.  there’ll be no more looking back.  none at all.

as i said, its the sense of being weightless.  coz shedding those extra baggage will only make us lighter.  and that will make us move forward faster.  onwards to that future that we were always dreaming about.  fully ready and all to devote all of yourself and about yourself to that future that you had been planning about in so long.

isn’t that great?

for after that final crossroad, there’s so much in store for me.  beyond those gates and after that bridge, whichever path will lead me, is a bright tomorrow.  for beyond and in the remaining days of our lives, we will walk in those fields of gold.

can you take me higher?

11:44 pm.

i’m out.

“it feels like springtime in winter
it feels like christmas in june”
(babyface)

~ by the fortunate pilgrim on September 1, 2009.