twenty three zero eight zero nine
“more than the flower itself, what makes a rose so beautiful is its thorns;
after the roses fade and wither, what’s left behind is the thorns;
and there lies the real beauty of a rose”
(H3N13809)
9:53 am.
i remember there was a point in time that the color black has negative implications. it is always associated with death. that was the old school. however, it evolved till the color became the “in” color. now the color is in fashion.
probably the same is true with the standards of beauty. its very subjective. but who sets the standards of what’s pretty or not? sadly, its the society and the culture you are in. partly its what we always see on tv. yes. the hollywood influence. and thats gay.
coz its the long silky straight jet black hair. duh. is it the fairness of the skin. is she cool if she stands 10′1″. coz he looks neat with the really short hair . looks gay actually. coz she has lots of money. coz she has 10 jobs at the same time. is that what it is? actually, thats very lame. thats so sad, dude. unfortunately, people still think that way even today. its 2020 dude. wake up. yes. that was the old school. skin deep. very.
for after its flower fades and withers, whats left are the thorns.
oh yes. just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to. so dont go chasing waterfalls.
later.
“dark angels follow me
over a godless sea
mountains of endless falling,
for all my days remaining,”
(sting)
11:36 pm.
would north be true?
today i proved something to myself. again. i broke the 10 mile bar. yes. and it felt good. i felt like im a winner again.
yes. as planned, i ran all the way to john r tonight and back on top of my usual run route. oh dude, im so stoked. its really felt good you know. you cant explain the feeling when you achieved something that was planned. and it was not that easy as it may seem. dude, it was practically a non-stop run all the way. well, i stopped on pedestrian walks on red and stopped twice just to fix my shoe laces. but thats it.
i was so into the flow. i had protein for lunch. chicken shack. had some sugars before my run. coke. and of course a powerstick after my stretching. a stick of marlboro lights. inhalation therapy. LOL i was psychologically ready for it coz today is gonna be the day to break my own record. i had the right pace. i had the right breathing during the entire run. the rain early in the afternoon was kinda frustrating though. but it eventually stopped and the show must go on. and it did. i dont have the exact distance for the entire run but it was at least in the range of 12 or 13 miles or even more. aint that fun enough?
i feel i pulled my hamstring though. its kinda sore now. a little bit. but its gonna be okay. i had just too much of the run i think. LOL pushed my limits way beyond what i can take. but i did it. and i conquered it today. now i can go for more.
achieving whatever it is, a goal, a plan, an objective or just anything really felt good. its winning in a way. and you know how it is. there’s nothing like a winner. and the 2nd place is the first loser.
winning really feels good especially if you’re competing against your very self. it always feels good. now i feel like a winner again. and its just great. it just boosts your confidence level. and it makes you happy. of course with the thought of wellness and looking good plus all the endorphins. (note to self: good job dude. go for more.)
now i can say i could run forever. once i get my second wind, i just cant stop running anymore. oh i feel im like forrest gump. hahaha
“but i swear in the days still left
we’ll walk in fields of gold”
(sting)
i am defiant by nature. thats why im not always comfortable with the status quo. i wanna swim against the current and the tide. i wanna ride against the wind. i always wanna do the opposite and the unpopular. i wanna challenge the standards and the system. i always want to take the path less traveled. or i simply make my own path and leave a trail. i am unique as each and every one is. and i wanna stay that way. i have convictions apart from the rest and the popular. and ill stand by it and for it no matter what. coz those convictions define my own self and character.
thats why i always defy the popular standards of beauty. if they want it the clean cut way, i grow my hair long. and i dont even comb it. if they want it to be fair skinned and all, i put ink all over my not so fair skin and top it with piercings. to the old school, im not the guy you could tell your parents about. and im not the guy you could bring home to. my looks will creep them out. LOL
but those things will only show and prove one thing. looks can always be deceiving. and it takes someone to be near me and roll with me. coz everything is just skin deep. its just on the external side of things. but once you get to explore and know things better, the impression will change. coz its not what it always seems to be. its beyond the ink, the looks and the piercings. but still. there are people who are just so narrow-minded even today in the 22nd century. and i dont give a fuck. coz if they say they dont deserve me, i dont deserve them even more. coz narrow-mindedness is not even a word in my world. so people of that species dont even exist.
well.
1:03 am.
i hate to say it but its probably me.
im out.
“tomorrow’s rain will wash the stains away
but something in our minds will always stay”
(sting)
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