thirteen zero five zero nine

9:40 pm.

“if you’re lost you can look
and you will find me…
if you fall I will catch you
I’ll be waiting
time after time”                             (matchbox 20)

the other day i was talking about love and falling in love. 

i remember what people say about the phases of love.  crushes.  infatuation.  first love.  puppy love.  true love.  and whatnot.  the terms are kinda juvenile, you know.  in fact its kinda funny.  LOL

but i begin to wonder.  i have so many questions about these things.  how would you qualify a love.  how would you know thats its just an infatuation?  or a true love?  are these stages of the thing called love?  do people have to pass through all these stages?  if there are really these so-called stages, does it have to be in the chronological order?

im being critical about it now, you know.  they say a first love never dies.  but is the term first love applies to the very first one you fell in love with?  or can it be the last one you fell in love with?  for purposes of discussion, these things sound interesting, you know. 

at this point, im beginning to conclude these things.  a first love may not be necessarily your very first love relationship, i guess.  and dig this.  take time to look back through the years and through all your relationships.  coz you know, you might not even be really in love in those past relationships.  does it make sense?  coz how can we tell if we are really in love?  what is love anyway?  for sure its way beyond kissing and the romance.  way beyond the thing about the birds and the bees.  way beyond sex.  way beyond the flowers.  way beyond the dates and the movies.  way beyond the i love yous.  way beyond the i-dos and beyond the rings.  way beyond the gifts and the material things.  does this make sense now?

let me rephrase my question, then.  or maybe ask ourselves again.  do we really know what’s love?  do we really know how to love?  well.  lets think it over, dude.  coz we might be having the wrong notions about loving.  we might still be way immature in loving. 

i read somewhere that ideally,  love should be unconditional and self-less.  not full of conditions and selfish.  but is that possible?  interesting and mind boggling, huh.  probably. 

well.  thats love.  a real mystery.  but.  ideally, selfless and unconditional.  possibly.  we can never tell unless we try to be that way.  but can we do that?  or have we really fallen in love even for once in our lives?

i think i got y’all thinking about this.  but i think i have a point.  i think what i just said really makes sense.

one of the ultimate expressions of love in history is when that guy died for us and the whole mankind on that cross.  for the believers, that guy gave up his own life to save mankind, right?  just like that guy, if you got what it takes to do what he did for a loved one, then maybe you really know how to love.  if you could, would you?

i always say ill bleed for my convictions.  but those are just words.  that even doesnt say anything at all.  not till i get to prove it.  not till i fulfill it.  and we’ll see.  only time can tell.

well.  its kinda hard after all, right?  but i think thats what love is all about.  its about sacrifice.  its about the other half more than yourself.  i’d like to believe that im right.  i guess, i am.  and i hope i am.

well.  are you really in love, dudes?

keep the focus.  keep the faith.  and that will keep the passion burning.  and lets try to start loving in the strict sense of the word.  and that will make the big difference.   coz love is way beyond than just being a four letter word.

10:48 pm.  im outta here, dudes.

“When the world’s gone crazy and it makes no sense
And there’s only one voice that comes to your defense.
The jury’s out and your eyes search the room
And one friendly face is all you need to see.
And if there’s one guy, just one guy
Who’d lay down his life for you and die,
I hate to say it but it’s probably me.”                                 (sting)

~ by the fortunate pilgrim on May 13, 2009.