twelve zero five zero nine
“Lately Ive been staring in the mirror
Very slowly picking me apart
Said, Im trying to tell myself I have no reason
With your heart” (jodeci)
10:07 pm.
i was working on bruce’s bike a while ago. its almost done. just a minor tune up and it will be fine. its a road bike, right? rode it a while ago. though its the oldest of the old school bikes, it felt good. its so fast, dude. i just cant imagine riding a new aero dynamic full carbon road bike. oh dude. it must run like a speeding bullet. hmmm. sounds interesting, huh. a road bike? becoming a roadie? hmmm. why not?
do you guys have thoughts about dying? if you know the exact time and date when you’re gonna die, what would you do? well. are you even ready to die? think about dying. and maybe from there, you’ll start living your life to the fullest. we dont have that much time left, dude. life’s always too short. too short to mess around. too short to fuck each other up. too short to make it even shorter, right?
well. i am always ready. i have so much things to do still but for now, i think im good to go. all i wanna ask from the grim reaper guy is to make it the fastest ever that i couldnt even feel it. i might not have the perfect life. im still going for it though. but if i have to stop now, then maybe i am all set. i think i have done enough and so much that my soul could even be proud of. i have given forgiveness. i have asked for forgiveness. i have loved so deeply. i have shared unconditionally. i have been so much open ever. done this and that. wrecked this and that. proved this and proved it again and again. well. all mine to give.
they always say that at the hour of death your whole life will flash before you. mine will not be boring, i know. at this very point, i had enjoyed somehow. and its done. somehow.
but as i wait, the journey continues. still more places to go. more pictures to shoot. more and more memories to make. more pain to endure. and better days to come. each day a step closer. each step closer a vision clearer. as the vision becomes clearer, the flicker of hope becomes brighter. and as it becomes brighter, happy days are nearer. as long as i breathe, im going there. the bridge after the gates.
kinda more on the offside today. im a litlle way out of line today. so im getting off now.
another day passed. another day added to my life. a day at a time.
its 10:32 pm. and im out of here.
“i want to write her name in the sky
wanna freefall out into nothing
gonna leave this world for a while” (tom petty)
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